friends are like assholes

I realize folks, that I am not a nice person. I get that from my father. That and a love for good food and lots of booze. But as I pondered last eve, my varied collection of friends, confidants and mere acquaintances I realized something. Friends are like coffee. They aren't really good for you, but they sometimes make you feel good. Too much of them will give you a stomach ache and often lead to dehydration.

This isn't meant to suggest that I don't like my friends. I'm just saying that a little whisky makes them taste better..thats all.

father of the year award

now i hire two thai hookers at the same time. one wears a panda costume while the other one watches my kid.

sweet. she thinks im wrestling a muppet.

does this look infected?

evenings are a special time for me. i kiss the girls and send them off to bed and just sit. its my quiet time. my me time. i can get caught up on my letters to congress about stuff. i cangive my cats suppositories. (even if they dont need them, i think they like them. ) can you get paid for that?

that would be sweet.

i should do crafts.

holy shit check this out!

im sitting here writing to all of you, drinking filtered water from my brita filter and watching trisha throw out old gourds. sweet!

my head itches. i think im allergic to hair.